You've already met with your family lawyer in Pasadena. You've gotten rid of her floral print love seat. You've moved into a respectable single man's apartment. You've gotten a new wardrobe. So when is it time to start dating again?

According to psychologists Sam Buser and Glen Sternes, authors of the book The Guys-Only Guide to Getting Over Divorce and on with Life, Sex and Relationships, men have to look at themselves first before they start dating again. Buser and Sternes recommend the same type of self-investigation process that women traditionally go through after a break-up. The pair says it is essential that a man be "truly over her" before running to the arms of another woman. The impulse, the doctors say, is for men to hop into a relationship before actually looking at what went wrong in their previous marriage.

"Divorce is one of the most painful experiences in our lives," Buser says. "And the natural instinct is to look to women as an antidote." Instead, Buser and Sternes advise that men ask themselves a series of honest questions to determine if they are ready to start dating or not. Questions like, "Have you stopped being pre-occupied with thoughts of your previous marriage or divorce" are included in the book to help men to address their emotional issues honestly.

Another issue facing newly-divorced men facing the dating scene is fear. Clinical psychologist Michael S. Broder says that fear keeps men and women alike from re-entering the dating world. "It can be fear of being hurt, rejected or involved, and it can stem from a history of having been hurt or of traumatic relationships," says Broder. He agrees with Buser and Sternes that looking inward can help conquer fear as well as foster a healthy dating life. Seeking out a support group or relying on male friends who have been divorced is a good way for newly-single men to sound off about their dating concerns. An open dialogue with others will help erase some of the fear and anxiety that often surrounds dating.

Lastly, when dating, Buser and Sternes tell guys to stay true to who they are, adding that "Being yourself means taking a little time to get to know yourself."

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