Recent Blog Posts in 2011

When the divorce of NBA superstar Kobe Bryant was announced last week, basketball insiders and family lawyers in Pasadena all wondered how much ex-wife Vanessa stood to gain from the breakup. Since the couple never signed a prenuptial agreement, speculation is high that Vanessa could walk away with millions.

After ten years of marriage, Vanessa filed for divorce on December 16th. But according to the Los Angeles Times, the mother of two signed the divorce petition with her attorney on December 1st. In a joint statement, the couple said, "We ask that in the interest of our young children, and in light of the upcoming holiday season, the public respect our privacy during this most difficult time."

The Bryants have a very public history of difficult times. Vanessa stood by Kobe in 2003 when he was accused of raping a woman who worked at a Colorado hotel. The charges were later dropped, but Kobe admitted to extramarital affairs.

"I know that my husband has made a mistake - the mistake of adultery," Vanessa Bryant said in a statement at the time. However, Vanessa remained tight-lipped as more rumors of affairs circulated throughout the duration of their relationship.

Experts estimate that Bryant will be entitled to at least half of Kobe's $150 million dollar net worth. The current number being tossed around in the press is $75 million, but she could bring in even more. Legal experts say she may be entitled to spousal support and even a chunk of Kobe's retirement cash. Forbes puts Kobe's yearly salary around $53 million before taxes and agents fees. Still, the couple is going to great lengths to keep the financial details of their breakup out of the press. Kobe and Vanessa are said to have reached financial agreements and joint custody arrangements before the divorce papers were filed.

Divorce attorneys in Pasadena have seen many parents of showbiz kids divorce. The life of a parent/manager can be too much for many couples to handle. But Matthew and Tina Knowles, parents of superstar Beyonce, appeared to have all the right stuff to weather the difficult task of working for your child while staying happily married. Still, after 30 years - two of those spent breaking up - the couple has finally divorced.

News of the divorce first broke in 2009 after a paternity scandal rocked the Knowles family. Rumors swirled that Matthew had fathered a child with former Scrubs actress Alexsandra Wright. DNA results confirmed that child was, in fact, his. But the original divorce filing was dropped last year after Matthew and Tina both failed to appear in court. Nevertheless, the divorce was back on in August of this year when Tina filed a divorce petition again. Her filing claims that the marriage was "insupportable because of discord or conflict of personalities which prevents any reasonable expectation of reconciliation." After two years of on-again/off-again, the final divorce decree was issued in a Texas court.

Matthew and Tina Knowles were married in 1980 and have two daughters, Beyonce and younger sister Solange. The pair was seen as the consummate stage parents. Matthew managed Beyonce and her former group Destiny's Child while Tina created many of the group's outfits and still serves as Beyonce's stylist and business partner in the clothing label House of Dereon. Matthew and Beyonce's business relationship took a turn for the worse in 2011 when the singer ordered an audit of her father's Music World Entertainment business company after he was accused of stealing money from her on a tour and taking funds he was not entitled to. Beyonce and Matthew Knowles ended their professional relationship in March 2011.

By April Lopez

One of the top four negative life experiences is divorce. It is heart melting and gut-wrenching.

Divorce affects all parties involved. The husband and wife will ultimately have a reduction in income and/or an increase in expenses. Families and friends will be divided and most importantly children will be caught in the middle.

The fact is 52 percent of all marriages end in divorce.

Some people have financial problems but sometimes we don't realize that these problems are big enough to end the marriage. If your marriage still ends up in divorce even after a heart-to-heart talk with your spouse, you need to create an exit strategy and rebound after the divorce.

When it's time to move on, you need to pick your head up, regain your confidence and strut. You also need to revise your W4 (withholding allowance certificate) because it most probably states there that you're married with a number of exemptions. Since you are now single, you have to claim single. Next is changing your beneficiary designations.

You may have put your spouse's name on your retirement accounts, pension plans and life insurance policies, etc. So before your ex-spouse and his/her new partner can take advantage of that, you may want to change your designated beneficiary immediately. Additionally you need to update your will, and power of attorney. Do you want your ex-spouse to take your various assets? Do you want your ex-spouse to decide on major medical decisions for you? Do you want your ex-spouse to take over your finances if something unfortunate happens to you? If the answer to all questions is no, then you should update your will, living will and power of attorney.

In a separation agreement or divorce decree, it may state who's responsible in paying certain bills, so next stop is closing all joint loans and credit cards. Both spouses will be held liable if both names are on the loan. So close out all credit cards and loans and transfer balances to accounts listed exclusively in the name of the person who's responsible in paying them. For getting names off a title, deed, mortgage and car note, you need special handling. You need to talk to an expert to ensure that you do things right.

Maintaining the same standard of living, lifestyle and expenses that you had when you were married on a reduced single person income is one of the most common mistakes divorced couples make. So, make sure you plan for this properly. If your divorce settlement is complicated, you may want to consider using a financial expert to help you with your financial projections.

by Brette McWhorter Sember, JD

There are several ways child support can be paid, and each method has advantages and disadvantages. One parent can directly pay the other by cash, check, or money order. This person-to-person method is simple and does not require waiting for any processing time by the state. The receiving parent must keep records and track the payments. Enforcement is more difficult and is not as automatic. If you agree to this type of payment, it is wise to include a provision that if payment is missed for a certain number of months, wage garnishment (see below) will be set up automatically.

Wage garnishment is another method of payment. Child support is deducted from the paying spouse's paycheck and sent either to the receiving spouse or to the state Child Support Enforcement Agency. Garnishment requires an extra step of formally notifying the paying parent's employer and setting a court date for the garnishment order. The parent receiving the support must handle all of the paperwork. The employer is legally obligated to withhold the support from the paycheck. The advantage of this method is that payment is made automatically. There are several disadvantages. First of all, the paying parent is likely to find it embarrassing, which might escalate hostilities between you. Second, there are limits to how much can be garnished from wages, so you may not be able to get the entire support amount this way. If your spouse is self-employed, you cannot garnish the wages. You also cannot prevent the paying spouse from quitting his job, which then puts you in the position of having to do more legwork to find the new employer and garnish again.

Wage garnishment is controlled by the Consumer Credit Protection Act, a federal law that limits the percent of wages that can be garnished. The garnishment law allows up to 50% of a worker's disposable earnings to be garnished for child support if the worker is supporting another spouse or child, or up to 60% if the worker is not. An additional five percent may be garnished for support payments more than 12 weeks in arrears.

The third option is to have your state child-enforcement agency collect all child support. You can agree to send payment through this organization from the beginning or at any point while child support is being paid. This is also the agency that will assist you in collecting unpaid child support. The advantage of this method is that the receiving parent doesn't have to do any legwork or keep any records and the parents don't need to have any contact with each other about child support (which can be helpful if you're prone to disagreements about this). Payments are automatically increased with the cost of living. The disadvantage is that the agency may take a small percentage of the payment as an administrative fee. The paying spouse may not appreciate this method, as there is absolutely no slack given for late or missed payments. Another disadvantage is that you're dealing with a government agency, so there is likely to be red tape and backlogs.

Divorce may make the most sense when you think you can least afford it.

A dissolution isn't cheap, but there are certain times it can be financially advantageous such as now given our country's current economic predicament.

I am not encouraging divorce, but you should not let a poor economy prevent an inevitable break up. In the stock market, you buy low and sell high. Why would you divorce high and not low?

The current economy significantly affects the outcome of a divorce but not the fundamental decision to file. In general, a couple's economic situation is a contributing factor, but I have yet to see a client choose to file for divorce simply because he / she is unhappy with the marital income, assets, debts, or liabilities.

There are usually deeper issues and problems that dominate the action. Divorce is something you don't want to choose unless you must. To those of you who must, I want you to keep in mind the timing of a divorce.

As money becomes tighter, a lot of people are increasingly concerned with the costs of divorce, including attorney fees, the additional expenses of a physical separation, and the effects of the divorce on the marital estate.

They see their finances, they see the mortgage is upside down, and they know the likelihood of future child support and spousal support payments will make it difficult to financially manage a divorce, so they go about planning for the future and preparing to file for a divorce later on when they have better financial footing.

But is that the best move?

Hard economic times are potentially favorable to the party that generates more income and has more assets, particularly temporarily depressed assets. It may be less financially painful to divide the assets, such as your home or your retirement account, when the values are much smaller.

With the national unemployment rate hovering around 9% and many more people underemployed or facing cutbacks in hours, judges are more sympathetic when the non-custodial parent's salary or bonus has been cut.

The loss in income and earning capacity could lead to lower child support payments, especially as courts have become more reluctant to impute income to a party given the present economy and lack of available jobs.

Whenever a court looks at alimony and child support it will look at your income. Different courts use different formulas, but in virtually all courts the ability to pay is a critical factor.

How many other things in life work like that where the cost of the product or the process is determined by your ability to pay?

If you are considering filing for divorce, you need to complete a strategic analysis and look at where your assets might logically end up at the end of the divorce, whether they are divided via trial or settlement. Then, assess what those values are today compared to a date in the future. Do the same thing with respect to alimony, child support and debts.

Again, I want to stress that I do not advocate for divorce. Do not allow the timing and financial analysis to drive the threshold decision of deciding whether or not getting a divorce is right for you. Your decision to divorce should not be based on a cold financial analysis by you, a lawyer, or a CPA.

But if you've already concluded that you are going to get a divorce or you suspect your spouse may be waiting for favorable circumstances before filing, then you need to sit down with a divorce lawyer to explore the best timing options in your case to minimize your financial exposure.

"So, naturally, I was very excited to meet Edward Pellingham at a dance," explained Kegel. "His name even sounds rich, doesn't it? Edward Pellingham. He was charming, crazy about me, and confided to me that he made a real mint last year and fully expected to make another mint this year, next year, and every year for the foreseeable future. I started feeling faint. This was my dream come true!"

Pellingham asked Kegel to marry him immediately, and she agreed. 

"I considered my future with Edward, and it looked bright," she said. "I had visions of exquisite jewelry, luxury vacations, thrilling homes, cars, and boats."

The magic didn't last long. After one day of marriage, Kegel filed for divorce -- "though I'd prefer an annulment, to make it like the marriage never happened," she said. "That man clearly misled me."

Pellingham never really made a mint?

"Oh, he made a mint all right," revealed Kegel. "A candy mint, as it turns out! Can you believe the nerve of that guy, getting me all excited about being with a man who makes a mint every year? The guy turns out to be unemployed, living in a mobile home, and spends his days watching TV, making mint candies, and misleading women like me. They oughta lock him away!"

Still trying to win her back, Pellingham offered to treat her to pearls. "But I'm not falling for that one," stated Kegel. "I happen to have noticed there's a greasy spoon diner near his mobile home called Pearl's Home Cooking."

By

Anne Vitiello

I was sitting among a circle of the earnest, at an Omega Institute retreat weekend. It was the first of a total of 4 nights (non consecutive) that I had taken for myself, away from home, during a 12-year marriage (Not that I hadn't been away overnight on other occasions, but it seems reasonable not to count the weekends at cancer hospitals and rehabs with my Dad -- though that rare, quiet breakfast at the Cincinnati airport did feel like a guilty indulgence).

Participants discussed their feelings of alienation at holiday gatherings. The vegan loathed the feasting on dead animal flesh; the still-closeted gay only son dreaded the inquiries about his relationship status; the troubled poet felt she would grind her teeth to splinters suppressing an outburst; the long-married husband yearned for a different life... All in turn expressed their personalized version of the same theme: a silent scream of alienation.

By the time it was my turn, I had overcome my fear of seeming dull, and mustered the courage to express something counter to the growing consensus of "anti-traditional" proclamations: "Well, as the person who probably would have spent the week prior to the holiday cleaning, shopping, decorating and cooking, I am starting to get the same feeling sitting here in this circle!"

Same sense of being an outsider. Different scenario. And the lesson that often feelings of otherness are our own creation, not something that those around us are imposing.

Divorce has become so commonplace and accepted, there's no reason to feel like an outsider. However, try telling that to odd Uncle H. who opted out of three invitations because he would prefer solitude over a pitying glance or well-intentioned advisory speech. And tell the same to kooky Aunt F. who was two chardonnays into the evening and three feet from the kids table when she blurted that she hit the dating lotto on her post-divorce lover, landing a guy who was hung like a cannon after enduring years of sexual famine.

The divorced are, at worst, in grief, and at best, in transition. Both altered states can make for some odd company. We may drink too much, talk too much, not want to talk, not want to eat, not do our share of the dishes, not remember peoples' names or presents. We may break from tradition, possibly spend holidays visiting new places rather than facing lifelong family.

We may dread being set up on a blind date or resent being passed up for one. If we are without our own kids, we may have a hard time enjoying yours. We may have a new relationship, and feel extra-weird about it, or may seem too comfortable or entitled to our new freedom for your own liking.

It's all about perspective, and more than that, it's about compassion. Forget empathy for the moment; it's unattainable for all but very few human beings. We seek one another's company (or we don't) at holiday time, and the perfect gift we could give to everybody is some slack. It's free, after all. And it is the most appropriate choice, especially when you do not relate to the recipient's point of view.

Of course holidays can be treacherous for anybody, including the married's. Heck, I remember in-laws too; it wasn't that long ago. But the occasional tensions among extended family can look like child's play compared with the post divorce potential for drama. Who knew that the infamous chopped liver incident of `99 would eventually pale in comparison with this year's invitation sabotage?

If the holidays can be an emotional minefield, then the holidays plus divorce can be that same minefield being spritzed with napalm.

So, let's declare a truce. We accept your smugness or intolerance, you accept our grandiosity or mopiness. A generosity of the heart may bring us to unconventional outcomes that are in fact most true to the spirit of the season.

Last year marked the first time since their birth that I spent Thanksgiving without my daughters. I felt abundant gratitude toward my sister who, though a keeper of great traditions, was understanding about my declining to spend the day in her crowded, happy home. She offered alternatively the private use of her beautiful mountain lake house, where I could instead create a new way of enjoying a quiet holiday.

A good policy: Have mercy, even when it seems unwarranted. We know that marriage can be a drag (in fact, who knows better than us?). But divorce is a death, even if sometimes akin to euthanasia. And deaths, like births, mean upheaval. So, a recently divorced person is no more assured of "normal" behavior than are the bereaved who have just pulled the plug on a loved one, or a woman who has just given birth.

It's understandable that if your marriage is less than blissful, you may have scant patience for divorcees who can't keep a lid on their annoying exhilaration or depressing drama. They may seem deserving of destitution in their personal or financial lives. However, when in doubt, let's give the benefit of same. Because as is often the case among human beings, we are more alike than we are different.

Peace on Earth, and at the punch bowl.