Recent Blog Posts in August 2011

If you're a guy seeking divorce advice in Pasadena, you might want to hit the gym before you go to your lawyer's office. A new study from Ohio State University found that while women pack on the pounds after they get married, men experience weight gain after they've divorced.

"Clearly, the effect of marital transitions on weight changes differs by gender," lead author Dmitry Tumin, a doctoral student in sociology at Ohio State, said in a university press release.

Tumin's team examined weight gain patterns in the two years following a marriage or divorce in more than 10,000 people in the United States surveyed from 1986 to 2008. Men and women who married or divorced were more likely to have a weight gain in the two years following their marital transition than their never-married counterparts, researchers found.

"Divorces for men and, to some extent, marriages for women promote weight gains that may be large enough to pose a health risk," Tumin concluded.

While the study didn't look into the reasons why weight gain is more likely for men after a divorce and women after a marriage, researchers have possible theories.

"Married women often have a larger role around the house than men do, and they may have less time to exercise and stay fit than similar unmarried women," study co-author and sociology professor Zhenchao Qian theorized in the news release. "On the other hand, studies show that married men get a health benefit from marriage, and they lose that benefit once they get divorced, which may lead to their weight gain."

According to the report, people over the age of 30 were most likely to gain weight after marriage or divorce - and the risk increased as people grew older.

"As you get older, having a sudden change in your life like a marriage or a divorce is a bigger shock than it would have been when you were younger, and that can really impact your weight," Tumin said.

Gold-digging spouses of both genders are something divorce attorneys in Pasadena are all too familiar with. China, a country where the divorce rate continues to explode, hopes that a new law will discourage people from marrying just for the money.

In the states, spouses usually split the property 50/50. But in China, it's now a different story. Last week, China's Supreme Court ruled that the person who buys the family home (or the parents who advance them the money) will get to keep it in the event of a divorce, meaning that China's versions of Tom Arnold or Camille Grammer will be plum out of luck when their divorces are finalized. The government is optimistic that this new regulation will not only keep gold-diggers from marrying with dollar signs in their eyes but will help preserve the institution of marriage.

"Hopefully this will help educate younger people, especially younger women, to be more independent, and to think of marriage in the right way rather than worshipping money so much," said a lawyer in Hunan province.

Young Chinese men trying to buy a family apartment stand to gain a lot in the ruling. China's huge property bubble has pushed property prices up to an astounding £5,000 per square meter even though annual salaries average just £6,000.

The new law is clearly the reaction of a country suddenly trying to deal with divorce, a practice that was looked down upon less than a decade ago. An estimated 5,000 couples a day in China are divorced and, according to recent statistics, there were 2.68 million divorces in China last year. It seems divorces have multiplied at almost the same speed as China's economy - by 7 percent a year for the past five years.

Family attorneys in Pasadena have long heard statistics claiming that members of the military are more likely to divorce. Stressful work environments, long absences from spouses and bouts with addiction and depression are a few of the common factors mentioned when looking at the collapse of military marriages. Now a new, headline-grabbing study suggests that veterans are more likely to get divorced and to cheat on their spouses than their civilian counterparts.

Based on data from a 1992 national survey, the study found that more than 32 percent of married veterans admitted to engaging in extramarital sex. That's roughly double that of married non-veterans.

"To the extent that the patterns observed in these data hold for our current veteran population, the results of this study provide evidence that the concerns about infidelity among spouses of persons who have served in the military are to a considerable degree valid," said Andrew S. London, chair of the sociology department and a sociology professor at Syracuse University.

The study also found that veterans were almost 10 percent more likely to get divorced. Researchers found a strong link between infidelity and the breakup of veteran marriages. Those who reported extramarital sex were 2.3 times more likely to be divorced than veterans who claimed to be faithful in their marriages. While it is true the study primarily focused on male veterans and infidelity, London said their data set included too few female veterans to draw definitive conclusions about their marital behaviors.

"Veteran Status, Marital Infidelity and Divorce" is the title of the survey conducted by London, Elizabeth Allen (a professor of psychology at the University of Denver) and Janet Willmoth (a sociology professor at Syracuse University).

When it comes to rumors about the marriage of Will Smith and Jada Pinkett, it's the classic "are they or aren't they" that Pasadena divorce lawyers and Hollywood gossip hounds alike love to speculate about. One tabloid says the Tinsel Town power couple is over while friends of the Smith clan say the reports are bogus. Who's right? Who knows? Here's what we do know so far.

Tongues started to wag early Tuesday morning when In Touch Weekly reported Will Smith and Jada Pinkett are separating. Their reps remained tight-lipped. Things got even stranger when TMZ contacted Pinkett's rep about the story, who then replied, "What? In Touch said that? I know nothing about this... Lord. I'm going back to bed." Meanwhile, an insider close to the family told Us Weekly the story was "100 percent not true."

The Smiths have long been the subjects of Hollywood scrutiny. Jada herself addressed this kind of rumor back in 2009.

"I've heard all the things - their marriage is not real, he's gay, she's gay, they swing," she told Us Weekly. "But at the end of the day, people have to believe what they have to believe. I'll tell you what, it's too hard to be in a pretend marriage. Life's too short for that one."

Smith also addressed the topic of his marriage in an interview with Ellen Degeneres in 2008.

"What I found is divorce just can't be an option," he said. "It's really that simple. And I think that's the problem with L.A. - there are so many options. So a huge part of the success for [Jada] and I is that we just removed the other options."

Will and Jada, who met when Pinkett auditioned for "The Fresh Prince of Bel Air," married on December 31st, 1997. They have two children together, child stars Jaden and Willow. Smith has a son, Trey, from his first marriage.

How Bad is Cohabitation Really?

Sociologists, journalists and divorce attorneys in Pasadena all have something to say about a new study which claims children of unmarried cohabitating parents are at risk for serious personal problems. The report, published by the University of Virginia's National Marriage Project and the Institute for American Values, claims that children who grow up with unmarried parents are more likely to use drugs, have emotional problems and fail in school. While such findings make for great headlines, many are saying the problems aren't as cut and dry as the study suggests.

Sociologist W. Bradford Wilcox, who co-authored the study with 18 other scholars, contends the report's findings are both accurate and shocking in what they reveal about the state of the American family.

"This report also indicates that children in cohabitating households are more likely to suffer from a range of emotional and social problems - drug use, depression and dropping out of high school - compared to children in intact, married families," Wilcox notes.

His fellow researchers point to instability being the biggest problem of cohabitating couples. Unmarried couples with a child are more than twice as likely to break up before their child turns 12 as their married counterparts. Without the stability found in married couples, children are more likely to experience depression and drug use, the study says.

But does marriage really make life easier on a child? Others say the instability in cohabitating relationships is coming from bigger issues like poverty, lack of education and unemployment, not simply because the couple didn't choose to walk down the aisle. Family law professors June Carbone and Naomi Cahn say the problems run much deeper.

"Marriage rates by themselves have a variety of meanings, but class-based increases in family instability have one overriding consequence: the creation of a less-just society with diminished prospects for a large percentage of our children," the pair wrote in The Huffington Post. "What we really need to do is increase our investments in children, employment stability and healthy communities and stop pretending that family structure is simply a matter of morals or will."

If you're seeking divorce advice in Pasadena, undoubtedly you've been told to act quickly and carefully so you can get on with your life. Jo-Ann DerManouelian of Rhode Island apparently never received that advice. DerManouelian is digging up her 17-year-old divorce; she's asked the court to throw out the 1994 divorce judgment. Now state officials have fired back, saying that DerManouelian's motivation for nullifying the old divorce is purely financial.

A civil complaint filed last Tuesday in U.S. District Court in Providence states Johnston resident DerManouelian only sought to have her divorce voided after officials notified the estate it owed $1.7 million in taxes and $1.1 million in penalties. DerManouelian is the administrator of her ex-husband's estate. Aram DerManouelian, founder of American Foam Corporation, died in 2006. Jo-Ann claims her ex fraudulently obtained the divorce. She contends that her husband initiated divorce proceedings in 1993 strictly because his marriage to her prohibited him from leaving real estate and pension proceeds to his son from a previous marriage. According to court records, couple had no children together.

"When Jo-Ann asked Aram why he was filing for divorce, Aram would only tell Jo-Ann that she should not fight what he was doing and that he, Aram, would pay his lawyers $2.00 for every $1.00 that his lawyers kept from her if she contested the divorce in any way,'' her attorney wrote in official court documents filed last month.

Jo-Ann and Aram, according to her attorney, lived together until the time of his death.

"On January 6, 1994, there were no irreconcilable differences between Aram and Jo-Ann, Aram and Jo-Ann were living together as husband and wife, there was no irremediable breakdown of the marriage between Aram and Jo-Ann and the entry of the (divorce judgment) January 4, 1994, was procured by fraud on the court by Aram,'' he added.

Meanwhile, authorities are accusing Jo-Ann of trying to get her divorce voided in an "improper and collusive attempt" to claim a marital tax deduction from her ex-husband's $17.7 million estate.

Divorcing in Pasadena can be tough, but women can find an excellent coping mechanism in martial arts. When facing a divorce, many women feel a sense of hopelessness, anger, fear, low self-esteem and loneliness. Taking martial arts can be a useful tool for coping with the negative feelings associated with divorce. The following are some of the ways in which martial arts can be beneficial to women dealing with divorce.

Enhanced Safety: Many women who are going through a divorce experience feelings of fear about having to face life on their own. Often they have spent years experiencing life alongside their spouse. Women who are alone must be ready to protect themselves accordingly. Women can protect themselves by making smart decisions, being aware of their surroundings and by becoming serious about a martial art. It is important to note that a once-a-week women's self defense class will not achieve this goal. For martial arts to be effective, they must be practiced every day and with enough repetition that responses become automatic.

A Sense of Empowerment: Women who are going through a divorce often experience low self-worth. They may feel they are unattractive, "unworthy" and vulnerable. Participation in martial arts can help alleviate these feelings and encourage higher feelings of self-worth. The intense training and discipline can promote a sense of accomplishment, strength and independence.

Physical Benefits: Martial arts provide an incredibly efficient workout and can result in sculpted muscles and loss of body fat. Furthermore, increased lung capacity, cardiovascular health and maintaining a healthy body weight can not only increase quality of life for years to come, but can improve self-esteem and confidence. These are extremely valuable to women going through the trauma of divorce.

Community Support and Personal Relationships: Many martial arts schools are an excellent source of community support and personal relationships. When dealing with a divorce, personal relationships are vital to maintaining a sense of connectedness to society and having a foundation of support to lean upon. Individuals who train seriously in martial arts find that they have a community of people who care about them and are willing to help and support them.

When getting a divorce in Pasadena, you first step should be finding a lawyer you can trust and for that, contact the Law Offices of Donald P. Schweitzer at (626) 683-8113. Next, focus on your own personal healing - and for that, martial arts may be the answer.

One of the most difficult things about going through a divorce is establishing then custody of children. But what about four-legged family members? More and more animal owners are seeking divorce advice in Pasadena when it comes to what will happen to their pets. After all, for many couples, the family dog or cat is more like a child than a pet; despite where the law stands, most pet owners certainly don't see Lucky as a simple piece of property.

Though societal trends are calling for a change in how the law views pets in divorce, the current state of the law is that pets are personal property and their custody is treated as such. There are other factors that can affect how pet custody is awarded and these include previous agreements by the owners, proof of ownership and sentimental value. According to Tabby McLain of the Animal Legal and Historical Center, "a number of judges have begun to reject the strict property analysis directed by the law that applies to dogs and sofas alike, although there is no direct basis in the law for the departure." This is good news for individuals with deep attachment to their pets.

Just like child custody, parents can come to an agreement with one another via a custody arrangement or it can be decided by the court. With family sizes decreasing, the emotional attachment to pets seems to be increasing and incidents of pet custody arguments taking place in the courtroom are likewise occurring more often. Sadly, stories of pets being used by one spouse to hurt the other are not uncommon and the law just isn't there to protect the interest of the animal... yet.

As the law evolves to fit societal requirements, we could see more court rulings for joint pet custody and pet support. Individuals wanting to protect their pets when entering a marriage can get a pet pre-nup to guard against any pet custody problems in the event of a divorce. Despite the fact that divorce law in Pasadena still views animals as personal property, forward-thinking attorneys recognize that pet parents are looking for an attorney that will see their dog or cat as a member of the family, to be treated with all the importance due a cherished loved one.

Divorce attorneys in Pasadena fortunately don't see many cases sadder than that of Russell Armstrong. Armstrong was the husband of Taylor Armstrong, a star on Bravo's hit reality show The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. According to early reports, Russell Armstrong committed suicide and was found by Los Angeles Police on Monday evening. Those close to the man say divorce and depression drove him to suicide.

Fans of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills are more than familiar with the marital woes of star Taylor and Russell Armstrong. Cameras caught the couple's union literally falling apart as they clashed over everything from money to friends and beyond. So when news broke on July 15th that the pair had filed for divorce, celebrity couple watchers were far from shocked. But as the weeks unfolded, so did details of a marriage riddled with domestic abuse and affairs. Of the abuse, Taylor told reporters, "I'm mad at myself for tolerating things I should not have. I felt like I was dying inside."

She claims Russell, 47, would grab her, push her around and even throw things at her during their frequent arguments.

The dramatic court battle that was set to get underway this fall was cut short when authorities were called to the home of a friend of Russell Armstrong.

"I can confirm that Mr. Armstrong was found dead from an apparent hanging in a residence on Mulholland Drive," Los Angeles Police Department spokesman Richard French told People magazine.

Los Angeles Fire Department spokesman Matt Spence adds, "We did respond at 8:08 p.m. Monday night regarding a reported death at the scene."

According to Los Angeles Coroner Assistant Chief Ed Winter, Armstrong was pronounced dead by paramedics at 8:16 p.m.

"There was no suicide note found," says Winter. "An autopsy and toxicology test are pending."

A source close to the couple told People that the stress of divorce had taken its toll on Russell.

"He was depressed," the source says. "He had a lot going on these past few months. The split from Taylor was a long time coming but it still took a big toll on him. He had no money; he was failing in business. It all added up."

Four years ago, jilted ex-husband Anthony Morelli was going through a messy divorce, complete with a sticky financial situation and a complicated custody battle. So he did what many in the modern age would do: He blogged about it. Morelli and his girlfriend, Misty Weaver-Ostinato, created the Psycho Ex-wife blog and soon found themselves with thousands of readers who related to his tales of contentious divorce drama. Four years later, the blog has become a community of sorts for divorced men... until, that is, a judge has called for Morelli to stop talking about the very things that made the blog a success.

On June 6, 2011, Family Court Judge Diane Gibbons ordered Morelli to shut down his blog and forbade him from mentioning his ex-wife Allison Morelli or his children on any public media.

"Your children are being hurt because you are badmouthing the woman they love in public," Gibbons said. "Should I put them with the man who is publicly browbeating their mother?"

After an online outburst after the ruling wherein Morelli boasted "the judge has no say over what I write here," the blog was officially shutdown by Gibbons on June 14.

"This is about the children," she said. "You may say anything that you would like to say. You may publish it. You may put it on a billboard. But you will not have your children, because that is abusive."

Morelli has gone on the defensive and says this ban violates his freedom of speech.

"Our website and community is not about bashing our ex-spouses," Morelli writes. "I am not fighting for the freedom to 'defend my right to bash my ex-wife in public.' I'm fighting to prevent our support group - and every other one out there - from being silenced simply because a judge doesn't like what is being written/spoken about, or the manner in which it is being written/spoken."

However, in published blogs, Morelli has described his wife as a "a blackout drunk," "a f*&%ing psycho" and like "Jabba the Hut with less personality." He is currently raising funds to fight the shutdown of his blog and to launch a violation of free speech case.

Mixing politics and divorce never seems like a great idea, but family attorneys in Pasadena thought maybe Guatemalan First Lady Sandra Torres had figured out a way to make it work. The headline-grabbing wife of former president Alvaro Colom ditched her husband a few months back in hopes of giving her a shot at becoming president herself. Yet despite the divorce and playing by the rules, Guatemalan authorities ruled this week that Torres was ineligible to run for political office.

Torres underwent a quickie divorce from Colom on the heels of her shocking announcement for her bid for the National Unity for Hope party in this fall's upcoming elections. Court President Alejandro Maldonado Aguirre said on Monday that Torres' candidacy is in violation of the constitutional ban on relatives of the chief executive running for president because she was his wife for the majority of his term. Torres had appealed earlier rulings to keep her out of the presidential race. Maldonado noted that the decision was unanimous and final. Women voters who supported Torres in her campaign were seen crying and protesting outside the court as they heard the decision on the radio.

The ruling made no mention of whether Torres committed fraud when she divorced Colom to run for president. Eyebrows were raised and the case was launched after electoral officials said that her divorce was a "ruse to run for office" and that she only divorced Colom to comply with the national law. Colom himself is not eligible for reelection and current polls favor retired Gen. Otto Perez Molina of the Patriotic Party in the race for president. Elections will be held nationwide in Guatemala on September 11, 2011.

You don't need to be a family attorney in Pasadena to know that couples who don't get enough sleep are probably not the happiest of people. After all, study after study has shown that Americans don't get enough sleep - and that this lack of sleep can cause all sorts of problems in their personal and professional lives. Now a new study suggests that women who suffer from a lack of sleep could be at risk for divorce.

Researchers at the University of Pittsburgh conducted an eye-opening, 10-day study of 35 young married couples. The study found that wives who experienced sleep deprivation tended to engage in negative marital interactions the next day (surprise, surprise).

"The findings suggest a wife's prolonged inability to sleep predicts her own and her husband's marital interactions, which tend to be more negative and less positive," said Wendy Troxel, the study's lead researcher.

Troxel said scientists used noninvasive sensors to monitor rest and activity cycles. The study participants were directed by researchers to record their daily assessment of their interaction with their spouse using electronic diaries. Wives that had troubles sleeping admitted to ignoring their partner, criticizing their spouse and having a lack of patience. These types of interactions and arguments are commonly referred to as divorce precursors, behaviors which may increase a couple's likelihood to breakup.

Not surprisingly, researchers did not find similar results in husbands who participated in the study. Men who lacked sleep didn't exhibit or record similar behaviors. Troxel attributes this to men being less expressive than women. According to medical experts, sleep deprivation can be a severe source of stress in a relationship and could lead to conflicts, separate bedrooms and divorce. Sleep deprivation is also a known cause of memory and cognitive impairment and may cause a decline in alertness, productivity and weight gain, according to Harvard Medical School.

If you're a parent seeking divorce advice in Pasadena, you're undoubtedly concerned about how your kids will adjust to their new lives. A big part of feeling adjusted for kids is feeling like their new homes are safe, well-organized and have touches that assure them that everything will be okay.

Organizational expert Maureen Coleman, who owns a de-cluttering business in Denver as a well as a custom frame shop, says that the biggest thing that helps your kids feel at home is picking your battles.

"If your son wants to hang on to framed photo of him and his dad at a baseball game, let him," she says. "Sure, looking at your ex every day isn't ideal but letting your son hang on to possessions associated with good memories is priceless."

Coleman also notes that having kids' belongings well-organized deflates a lot of stress and tension that could arise between you and your ex.

"Periodically, taking an inventory of what is in your kids' room is a great idea," she adds. "It's helpful to know before the recital if their favorite dress has been left at daddy's or if their basketball shoes need replacing before the game happens. Inventory lets divorced parents know what their kids have and what they've left behind at their other homes."

Coleman notes that buying doubles of clothing and toys can be pricey but may ultimately save you money - and heartache. When it comes to homework, kids of divorce need more help organizationally than other kids, so Coleman recommends a bulletin board or dry erase board where kids can keep track of what is due and where their supplies are for upcoming assignments.

Lastly, she says that children of divorce should be included in the decorating process.

"When moving into a new home, it's important for kids to get involved with making the house a home," Coleman notes. "Letting children pick out candles or new plates or paint colors for their rooms is not only encouraging them to be creative, but letting them fill their new space with fun things that make them happy. Plus, it puts them in the center of the process and sends the message that 'we can still have a happy home even though things are different.'"

Divorce attorneys in Pasadena have seen the big trend of divorce parties explode this year. From stars like rocker Jack White to chic Japanese couples, people around the globe are recognizing their divorces with unique, funny and downright strange celebrations. Still others celebrate their splits with a trip out of town. Pop singer Christina Aguilera jetted off to Hawaii when she divorced last year, and Oscar winner Kate Winselt met friend Emma Thompson in Mexico after her breakup.

Now, a high-end Mexican resort has come up with a one-of-a-kind divorce package that offers both a getaway and a divorce celebration, complete with a coffin for your wedding ring.

Casa Velas in Puerta Vallarta, Mexico, is hoping to entice suddenly single vacationers with a unique getaway especially for the newly-divorced. Hotels have been selling divorce-themed vacations for decades, but this one includes spa treatments, deluxe accommodations in the hotel's presidential suite for the divorcee and five friends, an engagement ring redesign consultation, a night on the town, VIP transportation to and from the airport and a shopping tour to "start enjoying that settlement."

But the most unique feature of the package is the ceremonial farewell party. Unlike the most divorce parties making headlines because they celebrate the amicable split of a couple, this farewell party has more of a "good riddance" feel. Guests of the party are treated to cocktails, appetizers - and a burial. That's right. Casa Velas has tiny coffins where the divorced can put their old wedding bands and bury them. The newly-divorced and ready to party have until December 22nd to take advantage of Casa Velas' package. That said, if you can't make the deadline, have no fear; with the popularity of divorce vacations and celebrations on the rise, we're sure we've only seen the tip of the iceberg.

Divorce attorneys in Pasadena and all across the country have seen the use of GPS tracking devices become a hot topic over the last few months. These handy gadgets bring up all sorts of legal issues, from invasion of privacy and beyond. Now one bombshell lawsuit claims that superstar basketball player Shaquille O'Neal planted a tracking device on his ex-wife's car without her knowledge.

Former Shaq employee Shawn Darling has filed a doozy of a lawsuit against his former boss - and it's filled with jaw-dropping accusations and bizarre details. The details of the lawsuit read like a juicy Telemundo soap opera, especially when it comes to the athlete's dealings with his ex, Shaunie O'Neal. According to legal documents, Shaq started to feel nervous in 2009 after his mistress Vanessa Lopez had threatened to tell his wife about their affair. Darling claims that O'Neal purchased and installed tracking devices on Shaunie O'Neal's car in order to find out where she was going and if she was communicating with Lopez.

On September 25, 2009, O'Neal allegedly purchased an Ultimate Bluetooth Mobile Phone Spy and an Ultimate People Finder Software system. At some point O'Neal had his wife's car wired and hired the company Guidepoint to place a GPS tracking system on her car so that he could monitor her movements and whereabouts. Also according to the suit, o n September 29, 2009, nervous that Lopez had made good on her threat to meet with his wife, O'Neal had his henchmen, Derrick Mallet, check with Guidepoint to find out where his wife had been.

The startling allegations are part of a bigger lawsuit filed by Darling which claims that O'Neal inflicted "emotional distress and invasion of privacy" against him. The new details are included in an amended complaint to another lawsuit filed in 2010. O'Neal's alleged crush on pop star Rihanna, an affair with a Newsweek reporter and manipulation of the Miami police are just a few of the other accusations included in the amended complaint.

If you're seeking divorce advice in Pasadena and you think might have a brilliant plan to get out of splitting half of your assets, you might want to think again. The New York Post is reporting that billionaire Henry Silverman's "ingenious" idea to save his fortune from his wife's clutches has been squashed by a New York judge.

Silverman made a bundle of money - an estimated $450 million - from Cendant Corp. during his long-term marriage to wife Nancy. So when the two headed to divorce court to split up their property and assets, Silverman and his legal team took a novel approach to the "that's mine, this is yours" argument. They attempted to prove that Silverman is an "innate genius" by submitting testimony from psychological experts who could vouch for his extraordinary intelligence. Silverman and his legal team hoped proof of his natural genius would clearly show that Nancy had nothing to do with his financial and professional success. Despite Silverman's efforts, State Supreme Court Judge Laura Dragger banned the evidence from being used in the divorce case.

Divorce lawyer Raoul Felder told The New York Post in an interview that Silverman was grasping at straws.

"Good try, but no cigar," Felder said. "If it had worked, anyone who made a lot of money would bring their obstetrician when they got divorced to prove they were geniuses [from the day they were born]. The judge had it right."

Henry and Nancy Silverman have been deadlocked in their divorce case since 2008. The thirty-year marriage of the Silvermans came crashing down after Henry left his wife for a yoga instructor he met at Starbucks. Since then, the pair has been in and out of court trying to finalize their divorce. The Silvermans have one child together.

Divorce attorneys in Pasadena have seen some high-priced child support settlements, but this staggering total is true a record-breaker. Supermodel Linda Evangelista is currently asking for $46,000 per month in child support for 4-year-old Augustin James, her son with French billionaire Francois Henri-Pinault.

On Monday, Evangelista showed up at a Manhattan family court to argue her case. Support Magistrate Matthew Troy called the child support request "probably the largest support order in the history of the family court." The model's lawyer argued that the proposed $552,000 a year would cover the cost for nannies, drivers, security detail and living expenses for Augustin. Troy, who threw out a request for $75,000 in vacation expenses, mostly sided with the supermodel, saying, "these are the extraordinary expenses that may be a part of the child's life."

Evangelista defended the amount by noting that her demanding professional life requires a full-time staff to take care of her son.

"When I work, it can be a 16-hour day... on days when I do not work, I am working on my image," she said. Henri-Pinault currently pays no child support to Evangelista yet spends an estimated five-figure monthly sum on his 3-year-old daughter with wife Salma Hayek, according to her lawyer.

Last month, the fashion and celebrity worlds were rocked by the revelation that Henri-Pinault was the father of Augustin. He and Evangelista hooked up while he was briefly broken up with Hayek in 2006. Hayek gave birth to daughter Valentina in 2007 and the pair was married on Valentine's Day of 2009. Henri-Pinault is the CEO of Pinault-Printemps-Redoute, the French clothing conglomerate that owns Gucci, Bottega Veneta and Yves St. Laurent. He is worth an estimated $11.5 billion. Evangelista, who is considered one of the highest-paid fashion models of all time, once famously quipped, "I don't get out of bed for less than $10,000 a day."

So your marriage didn't work out. That doesn't make you the worst person in the world. In order for us to heal and to move on to new, wonderful and amazing possibilities, we have to learn to forgive ourselves for our divorces. Family attorneys in Pasadena have seen honest attempts at self- forgiveness work wonders for the recently-divorced - and a study from Stanford University suggests that forgiving ourselves might even be good for our health.

Stanford launched theForgiveness Project in 2001. Spearheaded by noted author Dr. Fredric Luskin, the project has explored the positive effects of forgiveness on those who are willing to change their behaviors.

"Forgiveness consists primarily of taking less personal offense, reducing anger and the blaming of the offender, and developing an increased understanding of situations that lead to hurt and anger," according to the project.

Luskin has found that forgiveness has been shown to "reduce anger, hurt, depression and stress and lead to greater feelings of optimism, hope, compassion and self-confidence." Sounds wonderful - but forgiving yourself and your ex after a divorce can be a tall order. Even the "best divorces" can leave you feeling hopeless, cynical and resentful.

But author Carlos Phillips, who wrote the divorce self-help book Healed Without Scars, says the hard work of forgiveness has an incredible power.

"It's not just forgiving your ex-spouse," Phillips says. "You have to let yourself go, too. You have to forgive yourself. You're only human, you make mistakes and once you are able to do that and say, 'I did what I did based on who I was as that person at that time, but now that I know better, and now that I'm wiser, now that I know the consequences, I'm going to do better, I'm going to forgive myself,' it's going to get easier to forgive others."

So give yourself a break today and realize that the sooner you start to forgive yourself and others, the better you'll feel.