Recent Blog Posts in November 2011

The world of competitive sports can be tough on an athlete's body - but it can be even tougher on an athlete's marriage. Pasadena divorce lawyers have seen stars from every corner of the sports world wind up in divorce court. The grueling travel schedules, swarms of groupies and physical exhaustion of professional sports prove too much for many couples to handle. Olympic gold medalist skier Lindsey Vonn and husband Thomas Vonn are the latest sports couple headed for divorce.

Thomas Vonn, who also serves as Lindsey's chief advisor on and off the slopes, told the Associated Press last week that he has filed for divorce. He also noted that he will no longer have a professional relationship with Lindsey.

For her part, in a statement to the AP, Lindsey said, "This is an extremely difficult time in my personal life and I hope the media and my fans can respect my need for privacy on this matter."

Lindsey, who was known as Lindsey Kidlow before getting married to Thomas Vonn on September 29, 2007, has said she will be keeping her name after the divorce. This summer, she won the best female athlete category at the ESPY Awards in Los Angeles. With her career continuing to rise, the 27-year-old skier said in her statement that she will continue to be coached by the U.S. team and looks forward to competing the rest of the season.

Lindsey Vonn rose to sports super-stardom during the 2010 Vancouver Olympics. The world watched in awe as Lindsey, who was suffering from a badly-bruised shin, won a gold medal in the downhill as well as a bronze in the super-G. Thomas, a former professional skier, helped Lindsey coordinate interviews and train for competitions. Thomas reportedly stepped in when Lindsey and her father/manager Alan Kidlow had a falling out in 2006 before the Turin Olympics. Kidlow allegedly disapproved of her relationship with Thomas, who is nine years her senior.

Divorce attorneys in Pasadena are usually called in to help divorcing couples decide which spouse is entitled to what asset. Things like who gets to keep the house or who gets to stake claims on the antiques are squabbles best refereed by attorneys and judges. But there are some things couples share that can't be handled in a courtroom - like friends. Most couples acquire close friends during the course of a marriage. Yet when the marriage ends, alliances can be broken and relationships can fade, leaving the newly-divorced feeling abandoned. So who gets to keep the mutual friends after a divorce?

It's complicated. "It's a dilemma for everybody, and there's no simple way," says Dee Ring Martz, a licensed counselor who specializes in life-changing transitions like divorce. "There are many different personalities and insecurities and wounds. It almost becomes required that people take a side, if it's really nasty."

Even in the best situations with the most amiable couples, the breaking up of a friendship unit can be difficult. Sometimes the responses of friends can take divorcing couples by surprise.

"When a couple calls it quits, expect two types of response," says blogger Heidi Davoran, who went through a nasty divorce herself. "First, the friends who run for the hills, turn off their phones and avoid eye contact - these are the I'm-not-good-with-tears friends, who would rather fold your washing than address the elephant in the room. These people who were once a regular part of your life may be no longer. Think of it as a spring clean... culling can be therapeutic."

The other response, Davoran says, is more rare and valuable: the people who stick around and are there for you during tough times. The people who have your back during a divorce aren't always who you'd predict, Davoran says.

"How the messy mass of mixed allegiances plays out when the dust settles after a mangled marital muddle is sometimes how you least expect it," she notes.

In the end, Martz says it's best to allow yourself time to grieve after the loss of a spouse - and the associated loss of friends.

"There's a sense of betrayal. If friends are choosing the other person over them, it's another sense of huge loss," she says. "Not only is the person gone, and the marriage if gone, but now their friends are gone."

If you've been recently granted a legal separation in Pasadena, you might still be considering working it out with your estranged spouse. Marriage counseling is in the news often these days, and soon Dr. Drew's " Relationship Rehab" will be coming to TV - so the interest in couples therapy is definitely high. But does it work?

Madonna and Guy Ritchie, Tea Leoni and David Duchovny and most recently Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher all tried couples therapy before calling it quits. Even Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries gave it a shot in their short time together. So given those results, you would think the answer would be "no." But experts say there are many variables as to why couples counseling may or may not work. Relationship counselors say many couples don't seek help until the relationship is beyond repair. Others point out that partners with low self-esteem have an uphill battle keeping a marriage together.

"Most people realize that getting rid of your partner does not get rid of the problem because half the problem is yours," says Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil, author of Make up, Don't Break Up. "You can walk out on your marriage but you can't run away from yourself."

Communication and respect are practices that are essential for making a marriage - and marriage counseling - work.

"More relationships break up because people don't know how to validate each other," says Dr. Eaker Weil.

Sometimes, though, relationship counseling serves to decide if the relationship is worth saving. Rapper DMX is appearing on 'Relationship Rehab' with his wife of 20 years, Tashera Simmons, to determine the future of their marriage. The couple has been separated since July 2010 and has some considerable baggage to overcome, primarily the six illegitimate children he fathered while married to Tashera. Although their relationship may sound extreme, experts say many couples enter counseling to decide if they should stay or go.

But nearly everyone agrees that relationship counseling requires time, dedication and humility.

"Counseling is about negotiating a new deal, a new way to interact and make decisions," retired family court judge Anne Kass writes. "Counseling is about change - how to change from ways that are causing us or others pain and how to accept changes that are a natural, unavoidable part of life. Divorcing couples who never even attempt to work it out with the help of counseling make me sad. They're throwing their marriages away without even trying. But divorcing couples who do try counseling need to be prepared to work hard, to be patient and to make and accept change."

Financial concerns are usually near the top of the list for folks seeking divorce advice in Pasadena especially when couples have embarked on lucrative business ventures together. Sometimes financial situations get really complicated and carry on long after the ink is dry on divorce papers.

Take the tangled finances of 77-year-old singer Frankie Valli and his ex-wife Randy Valli, for instance. The 1960s falsetto singing sensation Frankie Valli saw a career resurgence in 2005 when Jersey Boys, a musical based on his career with his band The Four Seasons, was a hit on Broadway. The show won six Tonys, was a worldwide smash and brought in millions for Valli.

The profits from that show are at the center of Frankie latest battle with Randy. According to TMZ, the 51-year-old Randy already receives $30,000 a month from Frankie (as well as several hundred dollars in public assistance). Official court documents claim that Randy Valli currently nets $25,000 in Jersey Boy royalties, $5,000 in spousal support and $810 a month in public assistance for taking care of their minor children. Her new lawsuit is seeking additional royalties as well as financial coverage of legal fees. The legal documents state that Frankie makes more than $515,000 a month, with the majority of the money coming from Jersey Boys. Jersey Boys has a sold-out touring production, a permanent home in Las Vegas and a production in London - all of which bring in millions of dollars to Valli and the other producers every year. The musical, which is headed for the big screen, recently became Broadway's 25th-longest-running musical.

Valli married Randy Clohessy on July 7th, 1984; the couple filed for divorce last year. The pair have three children together. Valli was married twice before he met Clohessy.

          The Pasadena Bar Association website has launched its new attorney referral feature which all of our members are encouraged to check out.   This new feature allows members to post their photographs onto the PBA website along with a direct link to their personal webpages.   To ensure that all of our members have an equal opportunity to display their names and photographs at the top of the site, the feature automatically rotates the names of our attorneys on a regular and consistent basis.

           The Attorney Referral feature has intentionally been placed on the top portion of the PBA homepage so that it is visible and easy to locate for the public.   The primary motive for creating this feature was to assist our members to market their practices to the local community.   This feature will allow members to participate in internet marketing at a very reasonable cost.   In addition, this feature is expected to give our members' websites a search engine boost.  

        A one‑time sign-up fee of only $250.00 per attorney and $500.00 per law firm (law firms with more than one attorney) will be charged.   Every subsequent year, participating members will be charged $50.00 for maintenance and upgrades to  the site.   Members who are interested in signing up for this feature should email our executive director, Ms. Michelle Paniagua, at info@pasadenabar.org.   We believe this fee is very reasonable in light of the costs involved for attorneys to market their law practices on commercial attorney referral sites, many of which cost hundreds of dollars per month on an ongoing basis.

        In this day and age, as traditional attorney referral services are rapidly phasing out, most consumers search the internet for attorneys, when in need of one.  Generally speaking, most consumers prefer local attorneys, and our website is a natural place where people will look for an attorney.

       The Pasadena Bar Association intends on promoting the attorney referral feature to the general public.   Many people who are in need of an attorney referral are at a loss of where to search.   We want to make it easy for people to know that our feature is available.   To view the new attorney referral feature go to http:\\www.pasadenabar.org\.   Click onto the Family Law attorney's section feature to see multiple samples of attorneys with photographs and direct links to their websites.

            Submitted by Donald Schweitzer, PBA Vice President and Program Chair.

It was a romance made in prime time. Soap opera bad girl Heather Locklear and her former " Melrose Place" co-star Jack Wagner met on the set of their hit show, remained friends and, when their respective divorces pushed both stars into being suddenly single, they found one another again and started dating. The pair announced last year they were going to be married, and it looked like the couple was going to live happily ever after. But as Pasadena divorce lawyers can tell you, happily ever after isn't always that easy. The couple announced this week that the engagement was officially off.

A rep for Locklear told People magazine, "Jack and Heather are no longer engaged." The confirmation comes after Locklear set tongues wagging when she appeared at the premier of "The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1" without her engagement ring. Locklear's statement might clear up the mystery of the missing ring but it doesn't explain why the couple called off their nuptials and whether the two are still in a relationship. Locklear and Wagner dated for four years before getting engaged in August.

Locklear's daughter with rocker Richie Sambora, Ava, approved of Wagner.

"Ava was so excited when we told her," Locklear, 50, told People after announcing her engagement. "She hugged Jack, said congratulations, and she immediately wanted to see the ring. Then she ran and Facebooked her new stepbrother."

Amanda Woodward and Peter Burns, the characters Locklear and Wagner played on "Melrose Place," were married over a decade ago. In real life, Locklear was married to Mötley Crüe drummer Tommy Lee and Bon Jovi guitarist Richie Sambora. Fourteen-year-old Ava Sambora is Locklear's only child and is currently working as a model and actress.

Wagner was married to actress Kristina Wagner, who played his love interest on the soap opera "General Hospital." The pair divorced in 2006 and have two sons.

           On January 5, 2012, Donald P. Schweitzer will be a guest speaker for the San Gabriel Valley Family Law Attorneys Study Group, a group of highly experienced Family Law attorneys who meet once per month to acquire Continuing Legal Education (CLE) credits.   Donald was sought out by the group's organizers and asked to prepare and deliver a lengthy presentation that will be entitled, "2011 Family Law Review."

            The San Gabriel Valley Study Group is hosted by the accounting firm, White, Zuckerman, Warsavsky, Luna and Hunt and consists of approximately forty (40) Family Law attorneys.   The study group was formed several years ago by Certified Family Law Specialists who recognized the importance of being cognizant of trends, changes and shifts in the Family Law pendulum.   Consequently, Donald will provide a detailed summary of important Appellate Court decisions published in 2011, as well as a summary of new statutory law that will go into effect on January 1, 2012.

            When asked about presenting for this group, Donald stated, "ever since I began practicing Family Law I have made it a point to keep up with the constant evolution of the law.   It has been very easy for me since I find Family Law very interesting.   I am honored that the study group asked me to give this presentation, as it suggests that my peers respect my knowledge of Family Law."  Donald has prior experience teaching, as he has personally trained several associate attorneys new to the field of Family Law.

The Pasadena Bar Association's 2011 holiday party will be held on Thursday, December 8, 2011, at 6:00 p.m.   The party will be at Pandora on Green Street, located at 33 West Green Street, Pasadena, California 91105.   The attendance cost to PBA members is only $25.00.    The reduced price that members will pay is due to the fact that the Association has had such wonderful exclusive sponsors who have underwritten the costs associated with the holiday party.

Cost to nonmembers who wish to attend this event is $45.00.   Reservations are required and should be made by emailing the Pasadena Bar Association at info@pasadenabar.org.

 This event promises to be fun and entertaining.  Attendees will enjoy a wonderful banquet style dinner. There will be a live band and dancing, and an end-of-the-year presentation by the Association's President, Steven Yee.   Additionally, attendees will be treated to special entertainment by a choir from John Marshall High School.       

Donald Schweitzer, the Pasadena Bar Association's Vice President and Program Chair, stated: "This year our Association is giving our members an upgraded holiday party that they truly deserve.   We are cognizant of the fact that many attorneys within our association come from small practices and this may be the only holiday party they will attend.   Consequently, we wanted to do it right."

 The Association requests those who will attend the holiday party to bring a toy to be contributed to the Association's annual toy drive.   All toys received will be donated to a local charity.

              The Pasadena Bar Association Family Law Section is proud to announce that the guest speaker for the month of November, 2011 is Steven Wagner, the most recognized authority on fiduciary duties in the context of Family Law matters.   This Family Law Section meeting will be held on Wednesday, November 30, 2011, between 11:30 a.m. and 1:30 p.m., at Noor Restaurant, located in the Paseo Mall, and reservations should be made well in advance.

            Mr. Wagner is a recognized speaker who provides training to judges and Family Law attorneys throughout the State of California.   He practices family law in the Sacramento area and is the coauthor of a ten volume series of books entitled, "Complex Issues in California Family Law."   Mr. Wagner is a guest speaker at most of the advanced family law training seminars. He is most known for this work on the important Feldman case and his strong advocacy for enforcement of violations of fiduciary duties in Family Law cases.   Anyone who has a case where the other side is refusing to play by the rules should attend this event.

            Thanks to the Pasadena Bar Association's Family Law Section's Program Committee, members have been provided an excellent monthly program at a very reasonable cost throughout the past 12 months.   The Association has booked leading authorities and recognized experts like Steven Wagner, who normally address much larger audiences.  

The Pasadena Bar Association was able to book Mr. Wagner as a guest speaker due to the generosity of its exclusive sponsor: LexisNexis (Mr. Wagner's publisher), and the efforts of Patrick Bagdeserians, who sits on the Pasadena Bar Association's Family Law Section's Program Committee.   To make a reservation for this event, call Andy at (626) 296-8670 or send an email to om@duganlittle.com.  

If you're seeking divorce advice in Pasadena, you've probably been warned about the progressive alimony and custody laws in California. California has some of the tougher and more contemporary alimony policies in the United States. Other states, particularly on the East Coast, have had the same alimony laws since the 1950s. But it looks like all of that is beginning to change.

Massachusetts, New Jersey and Florida have undergone alimony law face-lifts which have erased the old school policies that kept the states in the divorce dark ages. The common goal of the states is to get rid of lifetime alimony, a policy which is dated and nearly impossible in today's economic climate. Many of the laws were established when men worked and women stayed at home with the children, meaning costly payouts to ex-wives. These outdated laws force divorcing couples to return to divorce courts whenever circumstances change. Under this arrangement, the legal fees and divorce proceedings are never-ending, even when the marriage has been over for years.

Specifically, proposed Florida Alimony Reform, which limits alimony payments and duration, is similar to newly-passed Massachusetts laws.

"Florida's permanent alimony laws are relics from another century," says state Rep. Ritch Workman. "Too often, lifetime alimony brings payers to bankruptcy, insolvency and foreclosure."

New Jersey Alimony Reform hopes to accomplish much of the same - but neither state will see changes immediately. Massachusetts will be the first state to see the benefits of alimony reform next spring.

Huffington Post blogger Elizabeth Benedict thinks the reform is long over due.

"Citizens in Florida and New Jersey - and Massachusetts, until the new law fully takes effect in March 2012 - deserve better than this, " Benedict writes. "Way better. What happens in family court in these states is a national disgrace. But the Massachusetts Miracle has put wind in everyone's sails. The good weather might just be moving from North to South this time."